ANGRY SNOW
© 2004 Dan Trujillo

 

(TERRY, 30s-40s:)

 

TERRY

Oh, I'll shovel the snow off your sidewalk, Steve.  For free.  And oh I'll go better than the uh the foot-and-a-half tunnel you usually carve.  I'll clear your sidewalk of snow.  Yeah.  Right up to the curb.  'Cause that's the kind of snow-shoveler I am, Steve.

 

But oh...oh you're gonna pay for it.  At the office.  When you're pitching in at the conference table?  Giving Eileen the low-down on what movie to see?  With that uh saintly smile?  Or when -- wait, at the Christmas party, next week -- when you're looking down at your shoes and you're telling everyone about how you used to...whatever, work in a homeless shelter, or gave your mom a kidney...whatever it is this week, you'll look up with that -- that saintly smile, and you'll see me smiling right back.  And you'll know you're not so great, 'cause I shoveled your sidewalk for free.  Who's the great guy now, not you.  I bust myself hard all week, and all I hear from everyone is what a cool guy Steve is.  My wife thinks you look like Ewan MacGregor.  How do you like this, Handsome-Guy?  Huh, Decent-Face?  I tried to be your friend, and you just...did you ever think when you were out there doing your good-guy thing, about how hard I work, when you were out there being all perfect?  No.  Now I'm your flaw, your walking breathing scar...you're never gonna think you're so great again.  I'm like your raven.  Nevermore.

 

Hey.  Put down that shovel.  I'm shoveling your sidewalk.  Steve.  Put it down.  Don't make me get my snowblower.  Steve!  STEVE!

 

© 2003 Dan Trujillo

 

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