Friday, February 20, 2004

 

After the Show

There must be something wrong with you
if you didn't like it.

You say you liked it?
You must be an idiot.

posted by Dan 1:47 PM
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The New Guy

Continuing my search for blogger-playwrights. Please welcome Darren Barefoot.

Darren's started a great project called Flowers for Al & Don, which sends bouquets of flowers and well-wishes to SF gay couples waiting on line to get their marriage liscenses. These people have a long uphill battle in front of them, and I think this is a great way to send support.

posted by Dan 1:07 PM
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Thursday, February 19, 2004

 

This Is So U of O

Ah, Oregon, how I miss you.

Some students decided to produce Eve Ensler's "Vagina Monologues" at the University of Oregon, donating all the receipts to a campaign to raise awareness of violence against women. What did they get for their troubles?

About 10 people gathered in front of Agate Hall on Friday to protest what they called a lack of representation of different kinds of women in "The Vagina Monologues" production...In flyers handed out to audience members at the show, University graduate Nicole Sangsuree Barrett wrote that while there was "diversity" in the show, it was minimal.

Okay, so...why don't you put up your own show, and cast it how you like?

...Barrett said she chose not take part when she was originally asked to be in the show. She said she tried to bring up questions of race with the show's directors, but the process was unsuccessful. Barrett said the directors told her she seemed to have a different vision for the play.

Fine and dandy. So put up your own show.

Senior Melissa Ballard, one of the demonstrators, was originally part of the cast, but said the directors asked her to leave a week before the show started because she was "hostile." ...After her dismissal, she said only one other woman of color remained in the show. "Plus size" and queer women were also not well-represented, she said.

So put up YOUR OWN FRIGGIN' SHOW!

Message to Barrett, Ballard and crew: I know it's easier to slap duct tape across your mouth and pass out flyers, but you should really try producing your own version. If the monologue is so drained of authenticity and meaning by the offending production, then yours should make that point more clearly than this.

But I guess it doesn't bother me that much. Like the title says, this is so U of O.

posted by Dan 1:16 PM
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Learn the Lesson of Frank Black

From The Billy Corgan website, 2/17/04 message:

The truth of the matter is that james iha broke up the smashing pumpkins. not me, not jimmy, but james. did it help that d'arcy was fired for being a mean-spirited drug addict, who refused to get help? No, that didn't help keep the band together, not at all...

Billy...Billy, Billy, Billy, why'd you have to go and say a thing like that? Even if it's true, you're just defiling your own nest. You're just making the inevitable reunion more difficult to arrange. You're adding a bitterness delay of 5-7 years. When you're in your mid-forties and the IRS comes knocking, you're going to be missing that VH1 money, Billy.

It was a band, Billy. Bands get famous, then the members hate each other, then they break up. It's a story as old as rock and roll.

Now c'mon, man, play "1979." That was the Clinton-era "Life in a Northern Town."

posted by Dan 12:00 PM
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Wednesday, February 18, 2004

 

happy day fwee

On Jan. 10, 1994, I moved to New York. I've been here for over ten years. According to my wife, this makes me an official New Yorker.



But this is home to me.

Must get back out there this summer. Must.

UPDATE: It's a picture of the Columbia River Gorge, shot from the Oregon side.

posted by Dan 1:50 PM
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Let's Discuss

Comedy Central's latest offering...Straight Plan For The Gay Man!

You see, they took the premise for the popular makeover how "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy," and inverted it, you see. You see, instead of teaching a straight slob how to be clean, they will teach a clean gay to be a slob. You see.

This is what's called a comic reversal, you see. For instance, in "Queer Eye," a host might suggest, "Use a facial moisturizer;" whereas in "Straight Plan," a host would say, "Refrain from using facial moisturizer." It is at this point that laughter issues forth from the audience, because this statement upends the entire paradigm.

You see, comedy stems from truth, or rather truth that we normally leave unsaid. What makes this Comedy Central program so hilarious is its roots in the public psyche. When we first encountered "Queer Eye," we all had the notion of a contrary show wherein straight men taught gay men to assemble mismatched furniture and drink large quantities of beer. At this point, some of us turned to our fellow viewer and made a brief comment based on this observation. Some were like me, and said nothing, due to concern for the strain such an exclamation would make on the local oxygen supply. In either case, even though all of us -- and by "all of us" I mean every single human being -- briefly touched on this notion, "Straight Plan" is actually taking the time to fully mine its vast comic potential, you see. There is so much more to say about straight men and their tendency toward unsophisticated disarray, contrasted with the cultured fussiness of the urban homosexual! The possibilities for truth-telling are endless!

I myself am preparing several pitches for satires based on reality programming. One concept is "America's Next Top Ugly Person," which will involve a nationwide search for the ugliest person. This is funny, you see, because nobody wants to find ugly people. Another is a spoof of "Joe Millionaire" entitled "Jeff Millionaire," where the bachelor is not a fake millionaire, nor is he named Joe, but Jeff.

I'm having a little trouble with my "American Idol" parody. "American Accountant?" Because, you see, accountants are not interesting. Or perhaps the reversal should be about the nationality, such as "French Idol?" Or "Ukrainian Idol?" You see because the word "Ukrainian" is long and unfamiliar. Or what about "Iraqi Idol?" Yes! Funny and topical! Saddam Hussein could be a contestant, and instead of singing, he could gas the judges! Yes! What fine comic reversal!

Is laughter issuing forth yet?

posted by Dan 10:54 AM
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Tuesday, February 17, 2004

 

And the winner

for worst Valentine's Day party is...

fancy robot.

Give him a hand. Job. Something.

Not to gloat, but I have to say that my V-Day was fan-frickin'-tastic. I have the greatest wife ever. No, I won't tell you why.

posted by Dan 11:09 AM
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Half-Time Report

Hey there, sports fans! It’s been a thrilling first half at Red Room Stadium! The shooting has been outstanding, as the Lil Pervs have gone 24-30 in the first two dozen minutes...

Okay, no more bad announcer routine. The show’s going well. If you haven’t seen it, come see it. Four more shows, Thursday through Sunday. Come. Durnitall.

posted by Dan 10:36 AM
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