Friday, May 07, 2004

 

The Skinny

I was in rare form last night. Almost got hit by a car! Thought I could beat the light, and ran out into the middle of 9th Ave.! Had to run back, tail tucked between legs! Nothing like showing a group of people you've just met that you're the guy who can't be trusted in the face of oncoming traffic. Ah well...

I'm a little hazy this morning, but I'm going to try to say something intelligent about Isaac's production of First You're Born. First of all, mad props to playwright Line Knutzen and all the gees keeping it real in the d-mark!

Okay, start over.

There's a lot of exciting theatre action happening in Denmark, and it's about time New York got with the program. This production strikes a blow for that cause. Line Knutzen's play is light without being fluffy, original without being inaccessible, and funny. The first moment of the play sets the tone: a bubbly-celebration in the park harassed by the screeching of strange birds. It's absurd comedy for eighty minutes, as we watch six disconnected souls grope for connection. Because this is romantic comedy, we know that there will be pairs by the end. Line makes this old journey fresh and touching. Part of this she accomplishes by inhabiting her simple tale with truly eccentric characters with penchants for non-sequitors, stream-of-consciousness rambling, and frank existentialism. It's ironimuhcal that a play thick with a language of absurdity and confusion, one of the final speeches was an appeal to simplicity of feeling and action.

The design was a highlight of the production. Takeshi Kata's set made an intimate space out of a cavern: three bright candyboxes on platforms for the interiors of the play. I've seen Kata's designs before, and I think he's terrific. Kay Lee's costumes served the play perfectly. Their clothes reminded of those I've seen worn by models in advertising out of Northern Europe. Just a little wrong, you know? Mismatched selections from an overstock shop. Hilarious.

Speaking of clothes, allow me to turn into Mr. Black for a moment and say that a famous actor was at the show last night, looking like he had fallen out of bed while on Spring Break in Ft. Lauderdale. I'm not saying you have to wear a tie to the theater, I'm saying you have to wear pants.

I heard that the actors were a bit off their game die to weariness, and I think it showed a little. Their pixilation didn't always match the monitor resolution of the play. (Yikes, I can't believe I wrote that. My use of stupid metaphors doesn't always fit the sentence structure. I'll try again.) This play has a mania, of sorts, and meeting that mania is an exhausting task. Not everyone was able to meet it all the time. One standout: Hanna Cheek. Damn, she's funny.

Of course, you expect me to be complimentary about Isaac's directing. Well, no one gets a free ride here at Venal Scene! What an amateur! A link to MapQuest could have given better direction! Hahahaha! Honestly, it was very well directed. No, seriously. He accomplished what I think he hoped to accomplish direction that was unobtrusive, "ego-free," serving the play, and all that. Refreshing to have a director do that.

A fun production all around. Hopefully it will mean further cultural exchange between New York and Copenhagen. Hear me, Copenhagen? I've got a play! Help...

By the way, go here if you're interested in what four playwrights of little note do when they get together for booze. And dinner. Booze.

posted by Dan 1:54 PM
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Give Me Twenty

Thank God. Josh is back, and he's picking on gym teachers.

I went to one of those fancy-schmancy performing arts high schools, so instead of gym, I took dance. Now, I'm not a great dancer. I can hold my own at a wedding, but nobody wants to watch me hold it. So I didn't exactly belong in dance classes. Given the choice between sweating with a bunch of guys, and stretching on the bar with a bunch of girls....the correct decision was obvious.

posted by Dan 10:24 AM
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Thursday, May 06, 2004

 

Now That's a Party

UPDATE: Edited for clarity

I don't want to hear about how there's no threat of Christian fundamentalism in Europe (via ArtsJournal.com).

The final night of a Spanish play entitled In God We Sh*t was in jeopardy yesterday after a week of controversy culminated in attacks on the performers and an attempt to burn down the theatre in the middle of the performance...

Remember the controversy surrounding Terrance McNally's Corpus Christi, which imagined a gay Jesus? There were protests, bomb threats, death threats, oh what a time we had. I remember some poo-pooing from friends across the pond about the yahoo Americans, too stupid to tolerate controversial subjects. I don't normally dabble in this kind of tit-for-tat but...well, eat it, kids.

The run reached an unexpected climax on Saturday night when a young man leapt from the stalls shouting: "Long live Christ the King!"

He then tried to set fire to the set with a cigarette lighter but was tackled by the lead actor, Fernando Incera, before he could reach the swaths of toilet paper that were decorating the stage...

A second protester joined the fray, assaulting technicians and vandalising equipment before kicking and punching the players.

Sounds pretty intolerant to me. Here's my favorite part:

[Director Pedro Forero] said hysteria had been whipped up, obscuring the play's true purpose. "At no point in this production have we had any intention of offending anyone," he said. (emphasis mine)

Oh brudder.

"I just can't believe that people took offense at the title In God We Sh*t. I mean, who could believe such a thing? Be sure to look out for our next production, A**rape the Virgin Mary."

C'mon, man, you knew. You were banking on it. All eyes will now be on your company for the next year.

This isn't a judgment call on their play, by the way, nor do I condone these loopy nutbars trying to burn the place down. But let's be honest about the heat that religious fundamentalism is burning at around the world, whether in Fahrenheit or Celsius. No society is beyond it.

posted by Dan 2:04 PM
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Solus

I am quite possibly the only living American never to have watched an episode of "Friends." I've caught a segment here and there, but never sat through the whole twenty-one minutes. Why? I don't think it's funny.

So I feel isolated in the brouhaha surrounding its departure. Everybody else seems wholly involved. Even people who don't strike me as sitcom enthusiasts know something about the show. I couldn't name the Friends if my life depended on it. I think one is named Joey, and one is named Monkey, right?

Tonight, the whole country will commune in the finale. Except for me. Fortunately, I have other plans.

What really confuses me is how attached New Yorkers seem to be to the show. Yes, it takes place in New York, but it never struck me as particularly New Yorkish. It never evoked the city the way Seinfeld or NewsRadio or All in the Family or even Caroline in the City managed to. That's a tough stunt, considering that at least half the writers on any sitcom staff have lived in NYC at some point.

I'm not one of those "TV rots your brain" snobs. TV does rot your brain, but I drink that rotbrain too. I guess I just missed the good ship Zeitgeist, and shall ne'er board her.

Or I will, fifty years from now. I'll be sitting in the Old Playwrights home. An episode will come on the day room TV, and I'll think it's the funniest thing I've ever seen.

Then I'll have a heart attack, and die.

posted by Dan 12:01 PM
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Oh You Poor, Stupid Bastard

I don't usually blog about keyword searches that hit my site (yes, I'm going to do so now, be sure to catch tonight's final episode of SHUT UP). This one, though, man, it's sad...

i am 15 and i wanna f**k now in brooklyn

Leave aside the profound disappointment this kid must have felt when he came to my site. Is this what the teens do these days in answer to their sexual frustration?

Kid, if by some miracle you come back and read this, listen to me: the internet is really not where you want to go looking for action. There are men out there who make it their business to find boys like you on the web, lure them into their embrace, and leave their dismembered corpses in nine different states.

But don't worry. You did come to the place with the answer to your need. You want to get laid in Brooklyn, or anywhere else in the U.S.A.? Here's what you do:

1. Take a shower (this is important).


2. Put on a friendly demeanor and an interested attitude, or at least a clean shirt.


3. Find out where teens are doing theatre, and join.

It worked for me, it will work for you, it's the American way. God bless.

posted by Dan 10:25 AM
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Wednesday, May 05, 2004

 

Convening

Tomorrow I'm meeting Laura, George and his bride, and Mac. We're all going to see Isaac's show, and eat, and drink, and get to know each other.

Guys, when you're looking for me in the bar, look for the six-and-a-half-foot tall, handsome aristocratic-looking fellow, well tanned, with a pencil-thin moustache and an atmosphere of intrigue. I'll be the guy next to him, holding his Martini while he puts the moves on the Countess.

posted by Dan 11:43 PM
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Tuesday, May 04, 2004

 

Recent Development Deals in Iraq

If you've been following the news lately (read: "If you enjoy being miserable..."), you've heard about the unpleasant behavior of a few members of the coalition forces.



Ah yes. That.

It looks like the perpetrators have been caught. The world is anticipating the release of their identities. As Venal Scene is not a major news outlet, I was surprised to find this press release in my fax machine this morning. I present it, unedited and completely authentic, to you, the public.

Click here to read the press release

Read about the story here

posted by Dan 12:04 PM
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Venal Scene Exclusive Peek!

Director Roland Emmerich is riding high on the buzz about his latest movie, The Day After Tomorrow, which plunges the city of New York into an ice age! No stranger to success, Roland has built an impressive resume with other Hollywood spectacles like Independence Day, which featured aliens annihilating New York, and Godzilla, wherein a 5,000 ton lizard decimated New York.

Not one to rest on his laurels, Roland has been dashing between meetings with Hollywood's elite, pitching a slough of new projects! Venal Scene obtained a copy of his treatments!


The Girl Next Door
Character-driven story of a young woman growing up in a small Mississippi town, that shoots missiles out of her eyes at New York.

King Tut
The Egyptian Pharoh's fantastic treasures arrive at the Metropolitan Museum of New York, and cyborgs come out and kill everybody.

The Post Office
New York destroyed by snow, rain, heat, and gloom of night.

Forever Plaid!
Adaptation of the hit off-Broadway musical, featuring the friendly ghosts of a 50s doo-wop band, in a magical, musical tour of a decade, plus they go to Washington Square park and beat Abby Hoffman with a tire iron.

Cole Slaw
New York landmarks julienned, smothered in mayonnaise and thyme, left uneaten.

Scary Movie 4
Wayans brothers back; spoof horror movies, release Ebola virus into Brooklyn's water supply.

Whore Statue of Liberty
She either gets melted by a volcano, or eaten by giant spiders, not sure which yet. Whore.

Unnamed Tom Hanks/Jennifer Garner Project
Tom Hanks and Jennifer Garner in romantic comedy, a lighter Lost In Translation, with Tony Randall as Hanks's aging father punching New Yorkers.

Mean Girls 2
New York is the new girl in school, and the popular girls tell everyone she masturbates with frozen hot dogs.

Batman Vs. Marty McFly
Marty takes Doc Brown's time-travelling car back in time to prevent the founding of New York, then travels forward in time, and fights Batman.

posted by Dan 10:19 AM
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Monday, May 03, 2004

 

Vienna Sausage

Y'all should download Sue Me, A**hole, Fair Use Press's latest e-book. (brought to you by Brian Flemming, fist of justice). It sticks e-fingers in the eyes of lawyers that use baseless lawsuits and threats to extinguish political satire and speech.

I warn you, though, it will scar you with its portrait of Gov. Schwarzenegger's manmeat.

posted by Dan 10:24 AM
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Sunday, May 02, 2004

 

I Know There Won't Be 'Bots...

...but maybe there will be 'bots

I'm putting my geek socks on tomorrow, and heading down to see a reading of Bill Corbett's new comedy at Playwrights Horizons. Why am I doing this? My love of the Theatre? My support for new playwrights?

No.

Because he's one of the guys who did this little show.

You'll find me on 42nd street afterwards, naked and drooling. I should blend in just fine.

posted by Dan 11:50 PM
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